10/1/2002
  

:claudia's column:

piste off

   
       
Hello, I have been skiing. I was invited and so I accepted. If I had known it would be so terrifying I would have gone long ago. Why everybody insists on skiing standing up I do not know. This, I felt, was not a suitably safe way for the one and only,and irreplaceable Gamine, of Gamine, to carry on. So I invented an ingenious new method of going down the piste.    
       
Skiing is visually a very stimulating experience. However, the skiing aesthetic, I must say, is not perfect. Obviously the mountains are astonishingly beautiful; everything, being white, is bright and pretty; the wooden chalets, with smoke piping out from the chimneys, is endearing if a little twee - I have no complaint with the late sixties wallpaper print conformity; the ruddy complexions of fellow skiers cannot be helped I suppose, but their outfits are unforgivable. Gamine fans, if you are loyal and true promise never to wear horrible ski-wear on the slopes, thus offending the beauty of your surroundings; it is simply not responsible behaviour.